Looking back...

So often I read quotes that say, "don't look back you can't change the past." "Don't look back because the past doesn't matter, only the future." But they are wrong! There is nothing wrong with looking back..especially if it makes you smile. I look back often on my life and although I carry regrets, I'm never looking back with them in mind. I look back at the good times in my life, the people who have brought me to where I am today, I look back at how far I've come as a woman and an adult. I've gone through so many changes and I'm much happier now than I ever have been not because I've achieved or obtained the things I want in life but because I've realized what it takes and I'm working hard to get there. The distance between a & b is only shortened when you begin the journey. As much as I'm looking forward to my successes, I'm enjoying the trip. So look back so that when you look forward you don't just see how far you have to go, you can see how far you have come. Looking back but moving forward   :)   xxxo

To my grandma's

I am so lucky to know my grandparents. Not everyone has had the opportunity to meet theirs, even moreover I am so blessed to have such great relationships with mine! Growing up I lived close enough to both that I was able to see them regularly. They weren't strangers in my life like I see with Eva and Tylers. My grandmothers have been such a big part of my life for as long as I remember but even more so in the past few years. I can tell them anything. They give me advice and support with understanding who I am as a person. They love me for who and I am what I accomplish, they never push their agenda on my life. Its a special unique bond that I share with both of them separately. I'm not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination but I do pray that they stay with my for a long time to come because I enjoy sharing my life with them and look forward to them being apart of who I am becoming as an adult. I love you both so much!! xxo

Vows

By definition a vow is a promise or an oath.. it isn't necessarily for marriage or religion. My vow is to myself. This particular vow isn't about my health, diet, education, etc. It is a vow to myself to surround myself and fill my life with only people who believe my happiness is important. Too often I allow someone to make me feel insignificant for a multiple of reasons. But I can't do that to myself anymore, I deserve better! This is for my soul. Happiness is the most important thing. Its what the earliest philosophers understood was the driving force in the universe. So I too shall focus on my happiness. Its not about money, image, beauty, or any other truly unimportant reason..its to love and be loved in return. To those who I love and love me in return, thank  you for your forgiveness when I've wronged you. Thank you for your shoulder when I needed to cry. Thank you for your hand when I was falling. Thank you for being apart of my life. No one owes anything to you, doesn't matter if they are family or not. They have chosen to be apart of my world and that is truly an amazing gift! There is a new Tim McGraw song out that fits how I feel about all the positive changes I've made in my life lately.. "I ain't no angel. I've still got a few more dances with the devil. I'm cleaning up my act little by little. I'm getting there. I can finally stand the 'wo'man in the mirror I see. I ain't as good as I'm gonna get but I'm better than I used to be!!"

I vow to love me because you love me! xxo